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Writer's pictureMaggie Maslanka

Lessons from Pierre… The Value of a Boundary!

Updated: Jun 28, 2023

Puppy Pierre


Having a new puppy, I’m reminded of the importance of boundaries and self-discipline.


It’s so easy to look into his cute face and give him whatever he demands. But as a counsellor, I know the value of setting boundaries early on. They tell others what standards I’m willing to accept and set the benchmark for what I receive.


My friend Ian, who assists schools in managing tricky behaviours, talks about the dynamic of ever-expanding limits. When a child pushes the boundary and finds it’s not strong, they then proceed to push further and further until we scratch our heads, asking why they feel entitled to ignore the boundaries we expect.


That reminds me of Puppy Pierre and the importance of discipline, specifically self-discipline! When he pushes the limits, I remind myself that although he is cute now, if I don’t discipline myself to say ‘No,’ firmly and clearly, and follow through on consequences, then I’m creating a bigger problem I’ll just need to face down the track; or submit and accept that my dog can behave however he wants. And that’s not fair on him!


Firstly, it helps to get clear on my expectations… what behaviour I want to foster and what I’m willing to accept or let slide. Secondly, Pierre has reminded me that I gain the most traction when I maintain a healthy connection and positively reinforce those boundaries with love and treats.


I also realise the most important boundary to set is with myself, to maintain good mental and physical health…


Am I following a healthy sleep routine?

Am I able to set boundaries around food (since I can’t get that sweet tooth removed!)?

Do I practise self-care by scheduling into my calendar the things I enjoy doing?


Whilst my boundary report card would read, “Yet to reach her potential!” I remember it’s not about perfection… rather the progress I make.


So each day Pierre and I do the dance of yes and no with treats and consequences, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to practise expressing a loving, benevolent strength.


Adieu for now.


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